All my life I have suffered from a very strange fear. I have a fear of certain textures. After a short internet search, I have discovered that this strange and rare fear is known as "cluster phobia." Some of my first memories of my fear of textures date back to when I was very very young, probably 5 years old. I would close my eyes at night and see textures, and it was nightmarish. I would be so scared I would run to my parents room and cry at the door. I couldn't stop picturing the textures and I would basically bawl myself to sleep many times. As I got older, those nightmares of textures have lessened but I still see them. They seem to be associated with bad memories and negative thoughts: I think something negative as I am drifting off to sleep and when I close my eyes, a scary texture flashes and wakes me up. Weird, huh. That's why I am blogging at 12:30 a.m. instead of sleeping. Luckily only 1 or 2 people read this blog so most of you don't have to know how truly strange I am :)
I am usually reminded of my fear of textures by things I see around me. Some people on cluster phobia internet forums can't stand looking at holes (like beehives for example), ducks flying together, fish scales. It seems as though this phobia is also genetic, and I am pretty sure my mom and sister hate certain textures too.
Anyhoo, below are some textures that make my stomach churn. Enjoy...
Noses with very deep blackheads
Certain TV static
Leaves with embedded insect eggs. I remember my mom and sisters and I freaking out over some embedded leaves one of us had received in flowers from somebody. We were all screaming and flipping out until my dad finally threw them outside.
Peeling roofs... I see this everywhere. It literally makes me nauseated and I panic just a little bit.
Strawberries with deep seeds. Very scary, not to mention they look like blackheads on a nose. (I usually just try to eat them without looking at them).
13 comments:
I think I've heard you mention this, but I never knew it was a phobia. That sucks that you've had to look at all the blackheads on my nose our entire friendship. I'll make sure and use one of those biore pour strips before we hang out! :) On the other hand maybe I won't to help you get past it. That might be mean though...
Ok, why with the texture pictures? Mine must be worse than yours because I just almost threw up. Allen actually got really mad at me the other night because I had a freak out because of a texture in the bottom of a pan that I burned some sauce in. YUCK. I'm sick just thinking about it.
Uh-oh. I'm not going to tell Cameron that his nose probably nauseates you. And I'm going to pretend that mine isn't bad enough to make you sick. :) That's why we couldn't "get together" when we were in UT, isn't it???
I was searching the internet for any information on my phobia, which is my fear of black dots/spots/circles/holes and this came up. It makes me feel a lot better to know that there are people out there with phobias similar to my own. Although i still don't know if mine has a name?
http://www.randomhouse.com/features/preston/cobraevent/art/smallpox1.jpg
please look at this and tell me what you think and if you can help me
katy xxxxxxxxxx
I'm a former radio personality, and one morning we did this "topic" because I'm the same way you are. By the way, NEVER Google the words: "Lotus Pod". Anyway, you're not alone. I have it, and stress makes it much, much worse. My 13 year old son may have it, but I'm not sure it isn't suggestive. That said, there is a term for it that is all scientific, but it's been many years, and I cannot recall it. I can't even find it online, which is how I came to your page. Good luck. I only have the circular pattern issue, or bee-hive type textures too. It does help to not be alone. ;)
It's my husband's email I'm writing from, btw.
-CJ
Whoops, I DID find the name, assymetriphobia, although, I'm not sure this page has it correct...there must be a more specific term. Here's a link (and not like the jerk that left you the smallpox pic, what a turd!) in case you would like to read it, also, I brought up the radio thing in my first post to tell you many folks called in, esp regarding COTTON BALLS! It doesn't bug me, but I get it. So here's the link hun, http://fishyvb.something-fishy.org/archive/index.php/t-140472.html
TONS of folks like us!
WOW! I'm so glad there are other people that have the same phobia! My cousin, my sister & I all can't stand to see weirdly textured things such as tires. Your embedded leaf picture really did me in!! Hahaha!
I had a strange dream yesterday about a client (I used to be a hairstylist) & he was complaining about his hair balding. His hair was made of corn kernels! CORN KERNELS on his scalp!!! He started picking them off! OMG! No one else understood how that gave me goosebumps except for my sister! Even she got the shivers imagining my dream!
Ah, I think I have the same phobia. I get freaked out by things like "living rocks" (http://www.cactus-art.biz/note-book/Images_plant/Lithops_hookeri_subfenestata_C19_810.jpg) or the texture of mushrooms, and that leaf picture made me scream! I don't know what it is but certain textures really make my skin crawl. Like, looking at certain textures makes me itch, and squirm and scream. So weird. I'm glad I'm not the only one, though!
Another fellow sufferer here.
Barnacles
Goose bump skin
Cooked pasta sticking up holes together
Reptiles bumps
Paisley pattern
Those are all I can think of now.
I recall seeing an old lady once when I was very young. She was sitting by the fire and her legs were all blotchy, with circular patterns all joined up.
I think this may have been my primary experience. My skin crawls just thinking about patterns and lumps etc.
I was recently shown a wasps nest and was nearly sick!! Interestingly I could not tear my eyes away from it either.
It haunts me now to think of all those little compartments, especially the ones that had little dead larvae in them.
Hope I have not disturbed anyone too much.
I was trying to desensitise myself by looking at barnacles on Google, but came across a man with his face covered in them. Shudders!
Argh! I posted something back in march because of my nightmare. Now I have the shivers because this person posted a picture of a puppy with his ear lifted up FULL of mites!!!!! I couldn't stop looking at it but I gives me the shivers. My skin is crawling. Is it me or does it seem more prevalent in females?
Oh man. The others didn't bother me so much, but the leaves.. UGH! Wow I really can't even.. blah. I discovered that I have trypophobia (fear of holes/clusters of holes) last year, but it's gotten a lot worse since. I'm mostly scared of holes with things in them, and if I can see through it it doesn't bother me, but now I'll be looking at some kind of texture and I'll imagine it on my hand and I feel itchy and gross and sometimes sick. I can't handle talking about it because I hate all the words associated with it. I had to tape paper over pictures in my bio textbook because they bothered me so much I couldn't concentrate at all.
I'm glad to be able to relate to someone by reading this feed! My family and friends think I'm crazy. Lotus pods are among my least favorite things ever. I become extremely grossed out by some things and I cannot look away from them, like if I look away from them they will get me! So irrational. I just got my first tattoo, a beautiful piece of a sea turtle. I just started the peeling phase last night and nearly went ballistic. Will probably never get another tattoo because of the texture.
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